To Be Obedient

Wherefore, I, Nephi, to be obedient to the commandments of the Lord, went and made these plates upon which I have engraven these things. (2 Nephi 5:31)

Nephi's choice of words is interesting: "to be obedient." He was already keeping one set of plates, which I understand was no easy task due to the effort required to cut words into brass. I'm sure he felt that was sufficient. Then the Lord asks him to make a second set.

Nephi doesn't say, "I'm doing this because the Lord told me to make a second set of plates, so Joseph will have a fall back when he loses the first 116 pages." He doesn't say he's doing it because the Lord assured him it was for wise and necessary purposes. He says he's doing it to be obedient.

To me, it feels like Nephi was puzzled by this request, that he could not fathom a reason for it, but nevertheless, he complied simply "to be obedient."

How many times do we refuse to comply with the requests and commandments of the Lord because we do not understand why He wants us to do it?

It happens all the time. People choose to watch R-rated movies because they cannot see the harm in it. Teenagers choose to date before they turn 16 because everyone else is doing it and will a few days or weeks or months really make that much of a difference? We get tattoos and piercings because what does that have to do with morality anyway—it's just a fashion statement, no different from dying my hair or growing a beard. We do not understand the reasons behind the request, so we do not comply; we do not obey simply for the sake of obedience.

But I did once. I took out my second earring when the prophet said to do so. I don't know why. It makes no sense to me. It has no relevance to morality or goodness. But I did it "to be obedient," and for no other reason.

Is my life differenct because of that? I don't know. I like to think that perhaps I have received blessings from that act of faith, even though I do not know what they are. I wonder if I had refused to obey and justified that earring, if I would be sitting here today typing this as a testimony of faith, or if that justification would have led to another and another, distancing me from God.

I do not know. But what I do know is that I want to be like Nephi. I want to follow the Lord in all things, "to be obedient."

Moral Obligations

For I, Nephi, was constrained to speak unto them... (2 Nephi 4:14)

constrained = forced, compelled, or obliged; to compel by physical, moral, or circumstancial force.

constraint = a moral obligation.

Nephi was constrained, morally and spiritually obliged, to speak to his brothers, to remind them of the words of Lehi, the ways of the Lord. He was constrained to lead his people, to be a prophet.

What am I constrained to do?

The first thing that comes to mind is to love and support and encourage and teach my family, my children.

A very close second is to make the world a better place through words—to write, to edit, to publish, to create. I don't just want to write, I must write. It is not just a vocation, it is an avocation; it is a moral and spiritual obligation. For me to deny it, is to deny God.

Leaving My Mark

And there shall rise up one mighty among them, who shall do much good, both in word and in deed, being an instrument in the hands of God, with exceeding faith, to work mighty wonders and do that thing which is great in the sight of God, unto the bringing to pass much restoration unto the house of Israel, and unto the seed of thy brethren. (2 Nephi 24:24)

I want to do that. I want to be that. Not that, specifically—I don't want to be Moses or Joseph Smith. But I want to do much good, to be an instrument in God's hands, to have exceeding faith and work mighty wonders (write books, be successful), to do great things, to help and uplift and inspire others.

But unlike Lehi, who says he has "no other object save it be the everlasting welfare of [their] souls" (2 Nephi 2:30), I must confess that I do have ulterior motives. I want others to think I'm good, special, unique. I want to leave a mark on this world when I move on. I want it to be noticed that I was here.

How vain and self-centered is that?

As I contemplated this thought and chastised myself in my journal for not being humble enough, listing my faults and shortcomings, I seemed to hear the Spirit speak to me as a friend might:

Karlene, stop that this minute! You are not to write one more negative thing about yourself. You are not to speak it. If you think it, thrust it from your mind quickly.

Yes, you have human frailties and weaknesses, but this rehearsing of them is not helpful. Still your mind and I will tell you what you should know.

You have a work to do in this world, as does everyone. You will not be able to do that work if you allow yourself to be crippled by these thoughts. You need the strength of your ego to pull you forward when things are difficult—and they will be difficult.

As long as you remember and always acknowledge that your skills and gifts are from God, He can keep you on the humble side of the line.

Did I just get chewed out for trying to be humble?

That was not humility. That was faithlessness. There is a difference.

Seeing Shades of Gray

...free forever, knowing good from evil... (2 Nephi 3:26)

Do I understand this correctly? This seems to imply that knowing good from evil is what makes us free. That if I want to be free from my sins, my addictions, my compulsions, I need to be able to know good from evil.

Well, I guess that makes sense.

Do I know good from evil?

I can recognize the big stuff for what it is—stealing, murder, drugs and alcohol, adultery, lying, being mean to others. I can tell the difference between black and white. I can even distinguish dark gray from white. In fact, I can see several gradations of gray, distinct from white.

But can I tell exactly where the white turns into extremely light gray? Can I tell when it's 99% white and 1% gray?

I'm not so good at that. But if I want to be truly free, I need to train myself to make that distinction. If I want to live a truly Christlike life, I need to be able to recognize truly Christlike behavior. I need to notice when white first begins to turn gray. Only then, will I be free to choose.

Joy is a choice

[had Adam not transgressed]...they would have had no children; wherefore they would have remained in a state of innocence, having no joy, for they knew no misery; doing no good, for they knew no sin. (2 Nephi 2:23)

No misery = no joy.
No sin = no good.

I get the second one. It's the old "spotted ax" argument—good is a choice and how can you choose one thing if you don't have other options. Experiencing those options is what gives us a true choice. So yes, I get the idea that if you don't have some experience with sin you cannot truly say that you have chosen good.

But the joy and misery one. That's a little harder for me. Do you really have to know misery in order to feel joy? I guess you do. It says so right there. In that scripture. Scripture which is the Word of God.

But why? How does it work?

Unless joy is also a choice.


Now that's a thought that stops me in my tracks. Are these concepts—misery/joy and sin/good—simply two examples of the same thing? Is the word "having" not intended as we most often use it today—as a passive verb, indicating something that occurs outside our control, as in "We're having bad weather today," or as something forced upon us, as in "I'm so tired I have to go to bed"? Or is it intended as an active verb to connote choice, as in "I'll have the potatoes, please"?

As an active verb, you cannot choose the potatoes unless there are other options, like rice or french fries or even nothing at all. In that usage, "having no joy, for they knew no misery" actually makes sense.

Well, I've certainly known my share of misery and sadness. Does that mean I can now choose joy? Okay, then. Let's test it.

I have way too much work to do and I am feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. (misery)

I have many people who value my skills and want my help in creating their books. (joy)

Oh, that was kind of cool. Let's try it again.

My arthritis is killing me—my hips, knees, ankles and toe joints hurt so bad I can barely walk. (misery)

Despite the pain, I can still walk. I am not crippled. I can move and go whenever and wherever I want. (joy)

Wow!

Okay, let's try a big one.

My 19 year old daughter is 16 weeks pregnant and considering shacking up with her boyfriend so they can co-parent, even though they do not love each other enough to get married. (misery)

My daughter is facing some tough life choices. The experience of which may create a situation which brings her closer to Christ. (joy)

Oh, I think I get it now.

Joy is a choice.

Book Title Suggestions

Comment here if you have a suggestion for a title of my new book.

Have I mentioned that I'm turning these essays into a book? I've been working on it during this month's BIAM (Book-in-a-Month) at latterdayauthors. My goal for the BIAM was to clean them all up, add in a few other essays that aren't posted here, and get them ready for publishing.

The first two weeks of the BIAM, I focused on new grandbaby stuff, so the only progress made on the book was to put the essays in a tentative order, using little sticky notes stuck to poster board. (Works great when you don't know what you're doing and need to move stuff around a lot.)

But these last two weeks of the BIAM, I edited/cleaned up/rewrote 7,113 words, or approximately 20% of these essays. (It's intended to be a short book.)

Anyway, here's why I'm mentioning it. I don't have a title or a subtitle. I was thinking that if this ended up being a series of short books, I'd like to subtitle the series "Parables for the 21st century"--except they're not really parables. They're more like allegories or extended metaphors. And some of the essays need to be retitled. Also, it would help to know which ones people liked better than others, you know, so I can delete the bad ones and not completely embarrass myself before the entire world.

So, some day when you are totally bored, go through my archives and read a few. Post in the comments section of the individual essays if you liked it and why, or if you think it totally stinks, or if you were horribly offended. If you can suggest a new title for the essay, comment that as well. And if you have a book title suggestion, put that in the comments section of THIS post. If I use any of your suggestions, I will list your name on the Acknowledgments page. (Assuming, of course, that it gets published and there IS an Acknowledgments page.)