What Was I Thinking? (1 Nephi 17:17-21)

March 9, 2006

“And when my brethren saw that I was about to build a ship, they began to murmur
against me saying: Our brother is a fool, for he thinketh he can build a ship…We
know that ye could not construct a ship, for we knew that ye were lacking in
judgment; wherefore, thou cannot accomplish so great a work.” (1 Nephi
17:17-18)

Who needs Laman and Lemuel? I can bad-mouth myself without their help!

My ‘ship’ is my business and I’m trying to build it with only a vague idea of what I am doing. But unlike Nephi, who receives ridicule and doubt from his brothers, I supply that for myself.

The task becomes difficult and I say, “What am I thinking? I don’t know what I’m doing!”

And I murmur and complain. And I become:

“desirous that [I] might not labor, for [I do] not believe that I [can] build a
[business]; neither [do I] believe that I [am capable of being] instructed of
the Lord.” (v. 18)

And then I feel sorrowful and tired and depressed because it is such a huge task and I say,

“[I] knew that [I] could not construct a [business], for [I know] that [I am]
lacking in judgment [and skill and resources]; wherefore, [I] canst not
accomplish so great a work.” (v. 19)

“Behold, [for 5 years I] have
suffered in the wilderness [in confusion and inability], which time [I might
have done something easier, simpler]…and [I] might have been happy.” (v.
21)

“…and it would have been better had [I not even tried to do
this].” (v. 20)

Is it any wonder I’m not getting much done on this ship?