Glory and Strength (1 Nephi 21:5)

March 21, 2006

“Yet shall I be glorious in the eyes of the Lord, and my God shall be my
strength.” (1 Nephi 21:5)

“Glorious in the eyes of the Lord.” To me, this means that if you obey His commandments you will become glorious, or rather, you will have His glory bestowed upon you—as in “this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” (Moses 1:39)

“And my God shall be my strength.” God is my only strength. In all areas—spiritual, emotional, physical; at work, at home, as a mother, a wife. He gives me the strength to move forward.

A Bubble of Protection (1 Nephi 20:18)

March 20, 2006

“O that thou hadst hearkened to my commandments—then had thy peace been as a
river, and thy righteousness as the waves of the sea.” (1 Nephi 20:18)

I’ve learned some things about stress. Stress from the outside—job, kids, finances, etc.—doesn’t harm me nearly so much as stress from the inside—guilt, shame, etc.

When I am right with the Lord—keeping His commandments the best I can, praying and reading the scriptures daily, capturing, seeking His will for me, then doing my best to carry it out—then it doesn’t much matter what’s going on around me. I feel safe, like there is a buffer zone, a bubble of protection around me, a demilitarized zone where the enemy cannot get in to attack.

But if I’m not right with the Lord, I lose my protection and the slightest breeze of conflict or trial sets me in a tailspin.

And here’s something else I’ve learned. I don’t have to be perfect to be protected. I only have to do the best I can and let God take care of the rest. He will let me know, with a little twinge in my heart and mind, that I’ve stepped off the path, that I’ve poked a little hole in my protective bubble.

And when I repent, He seals that leak right up.

Letting Trials Refine Us (1 Nephi 20:10)

March 20, 2006

“For behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of
affliction.” (1 Nephi 20:10)

Trials and afflictions, in and of themselves, are not necessarily refining or ennobling. They’re just hard. What transforms them into a thing of value is our willingness to look for the lesson. When we rely on the Lord, put our trust in Him and allow Him to lead us through the trial, that is when our afflictions change us, refine us, strengthen our spirit, make of us a better person.

That is when afflictions make us humble, rather than bitter. Teach us compassion, rather than reinforce selfishness. Lead us to extend mercy, rather than insist on justice.

Without God’s help in our trials, without our trust and reliance upon Him, trials are just so much pain and misery.

Nothing Without God (1 Nephi 20:1-8)

March 18, 2006

1 Nephi 20:1-8, quoting from Isaiah 48. You’re going to have to look this one up. It’s too long to type in.

The Lord tells Israel that although they have made covenants with Him, they do not rely on Him as they should. Although He’s led them from the beginning, given them signs, they do not rely on Him because they are proud and stubborn. They attribute His power, the works of His hands, to other sources, to idols.

Oh, how like that we are today. How like that I am. When good things happen, I’m too eager to take the credit myself, or I chock things up to luck, coincidence, fate.

In reality, every single good thing in my life comes because the Lord created it, orchestrated it, gifted me with it. Everything.

He gives me the power to breathe, to move, to think, to feel joy, to learn from my mistakes, to grow, to become more like Him.

I think I finally understand the concept of being nothing without God, less than the dust of the earth.

Giving Away All My Sins, Pt. 2 (Alma 22:18)

March 16, 2006

“And I will give away all my sins to know thee.” (Alma 22:18)

Here’s a big one—Do I want to know God more than I want to be right about how others have hurt me?

Take X. X hurt me.

If I want to know God, if I want to live with Him, be like Him, that means I have to give up on X being wrong, on X being mean.

I have to give up wanting X to be punished. I have to give up wanting others to know X was bad and mean, and did this to me, and therefore everyone should like me and not like X.

Sounds kind of silly when I write it out.

Giving Away All My Sins, Pt. 1 (Alma 22:18)

March 16, 2006

“And I will give away all my sins to know thee.” (Alma 22:18)

That’s the choice, isn’t it? I have my sins and desires on one side and God on the other. I want to have my cake (God) and eat it too (my sins).

It doesn’t work that way.

Do I want to know God more than I want chocolate?

Do I want to know Him more than I want to watch off-color television shows?

Do I want to know Him more than I want to be angry?

That Perhaps I Might Persuade (1 Nephi 19:18)

March 16, 2006

“And I, [kb], have written these things unto my people [in my journals, on my
blog], that perhaps I might persuade them that they would remember the Lord
their Redeemer.” (1 Nephi 19:18)

That is why I do this. I write to persuade myself to remember the Lord, my Redeemer.

I post what I write that perchance I will also persuade others.

There Was A Great Calm (1 Nephi 18:21)

March 15, 2006

“and after I had prayed the winds did cease, and the storm did cease, and there
was a great calm.” (1 Nephi 18:21)

No matter what storm is raging in my heart, after I pray there comes “a great calm.”

Every single time.

Without fail.

Always.

Binding the Prophets (1 Nephi 18:9-14)

March 14, 2006

1 Nephi 18:9-14—Nephi and family are on the boat, sailing to the promised land. Nephi’s brothers are acting rudely. He tries to show them the error of their ways, correct their behavior. They don’t like that very much. They tie him up. Then the Liahona ceases to work, the storms arise, they lose their way. They are in trouble now.

We think: How could they do that? Haven’t they learned to follow the prophet? Don’t they realize how dependent they are upon him? We would never be so foolish!

But aren’t we? Whenever we ignore our prophet’s counsel, we ‘bind’ him, and his ability to lead and guide us ceases to work.

Every time we watch an R-rate move—or even some of the PG and PG-13s—we bind our prophet. “Artful” tattoos and multiple piercings. Drinking Cokes and other caffeinated drinks. Failure to have adequate food storage and/or a 72-hour kit. Failure to hold Family Home Evening, family prayer and scripture study.

How many of us read the Book of Mormon this past year as the prophet asked us to do? It doesn’t really matter why we didn’t do it. If we didn’t follow his counsel, we bound him. Should we be surprised when the storms arise?

In all these behaviors, we bind our prophet and our Liahona ceases to work. No wonder so many of us feel tossed to and fro in the storms of this life.

We tend to look down on Laman and Lemuel for their behaviors, but they repented after only four days (v. 15). How long have our behaviors been contrary to the counsel of our prophet?

It’s March. I wonder how many Saints perservered and finished the Book of Mormon after December 31st—and how many just quit once the deadline passed?

Squeezing Out the Infection

March 13, 2006

The Lord seems to teach me in circular lessons. If I don’t learn it the first time, I don’t need to worry. He’ll set things up to give me another chance. And another. And another. Until I finally get the lesson.

This isn’t an easy process. When I don’t learn the lesson, it leaves a wound. If the wound doesn’t heal, it festers. When the lesson comes around again, it’s a chance to resolve the issues, to learn the lesson and to heal. And part of me is really grateful for this opportunity.

Another part of me is petrified. It’s one thing to understand that it’s time to rip the scab off, let the infection drain and think, “Oh good, an opportunity to clean the wound and finally let it heal.” It’s another thing entirely to actually do it.

My daughter had an infected belly button a few weeks ago. It needed to be tended. She had to put a hot wet cloth over it for a few minutes, then squeeze out the infection—three times a day. That was the only way to get the wound clean, to get the infection and the pus out and allow it to heal. She said the squeezing hurt so bad she almost passed out. She couldn’t do it herself. She had to have someone do the squeezing for her.

So here I am. Facing another go at the lesson. I have to get that infection out somehow, but I don’t have the strength or the courage or the ability to squeeze it myself. I don’t even know how. So please, Lord, I’ll stand still and let you squeeze.

Am I Doing It Right? (1 Nephi 18:4)

March 13, 2006

“after I had finished the ship,...it was good, and...the workmanship thereof was
exceedingly fine.” (1 Nephi 18:4)

I wonder if there were times while he was building the ship that Nephi wondered if he was doing it right? Did he wonder if he’d ever be able to finish it? If he was up to the task? Did he wonder if it would hold up in the water or if it would all fall apart when they tried to board. I wonder if he ever had to take it apart and start all over again. Did he have as much trouble as I seem to be having in figuring it all out?

And does it even matter? That was him. This is me. And for whatever reason, I seem to feel more lost than sure. It’s not Nephi’s path I need to follow, but my own. And the Lord will help me in the way that I need help, just as he helped Nephi in the way that he needed help. And that is enough for me.

Going to the Mount Oft (1 Nephi 18:3)

March 13, 2006

“I…did go unto the mount oft, and I did pray oft unto the Lord; wherefore the
Lord showed unto me great things.” (1 Nephi 18:3)

I think this indicates a lot of “what do I do now” questioning on Nephi’s part. If the Lord gave him the whole plan all at once, with perfect understanding, Nephi would only have needed to go to the mount once. But he went oft.

If Nephi didn’t get it the first time around, maybe I don’t have to feel bad because I don’t get it either.

From Time to Time (1 Nephi 18:1)

March 13, 2006

“the Lord did show me from time to time after what manner I should work the
timbers of the ship.” (1 Nephi 18:1)

From time to time.

Does this mean there were times when the Lord didn’t show Him what to do? When he had to figure it out on his own?

Or does it mean the Lord showed him a part of it and then, when Nephi finished that, He showed him the next part?

Or does it mean the Lord only showed Nephi what to do when Nephi got stuck?

It would help me to know this, so I could see if I’m doing this process of my own ship building correctly.

Insert Whatever Here (1 Nephi 17:51)

March 10, 2006

“And now, if the Lord has such great power [referring to the deliverance of the
Israelites] and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is
it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?” (1 Nephi 17:51)

I love this verse. I refer to it a lot when confronted with a problem I don’t know how to resolve. It’s a fill in the blank.

“How is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should [insert whatever here]?”

And it works. It really does. Whether I’m trying to fix my business, resolve something with my children, learn something new, lose weight—it doesn’t matter. It applies to everything.

I insert my problem and then I wait—and ideas begin to fill my mind. It’s a wonderful thing.

Knowing vs Feeling (1 Nephi 17:23)

March 10, 2006

1 Nephi 17:23—Nephi is describing how God helped the Israelites escape the bondage of the Egyptians. I am reminded again how it seems these Israelites and many of the people of the Old Testament had physical, literal manifestations from God.

Moses saw a burning bush. The Israelites saw a pillar of light they could follow through the wilderness. They saw Moses strike the Red Sea and watched it part. They saw him smite a rock and water appear. They saw, touched and ate manna when it appeared each day.

Sometimes I yearn for this more tangible representation of God’s power and will. I think it would be easier to do His will if I simply followed a pillar of light around all day or checked a Liahona for my to do list.

But I don’t know. The Israelites, with all these visible, tangible manifestations, were still pretty rebellious at times.

Maybe it’s not the knowing, but the feeling that helps us follow the Lord. And maybe it’s the struggle that helps us remember.